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Grandparents

Posted by taggart Posted on: 07/21/08

Grandparents

Everyone told me an added bonus of having kids was your newly appreciative relationship with your parents. Sure, you're exhausted and constantly interrupted and probably wearing mismatched (and dirty) clothing more often than you'd like to admit... but you will have newfound understanding and appreciation for your parents.

Did that happen for you? Cause it certainly didn't for me. I do have increased appreciation for my in-laws. But I have a brewing resentment for my mom and my dad. Neither one seems to have much availability to spend time with my son, Will -- let alone babysit when I need a favor or a break.

I can't understand it because, as you can see, Will is clearly one of the world's high rankers on the adorability scale. And neither my mom nor my dad lives very far away. What up??

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  • I think the bonus is understanding that our parents were (and are!) human, with flaws and strengths. Some of our parents didn't do a very good job with us, because they didn't know how to parent better... some did great, by total accident! It is frustrating to feel unsupported by parents, in laws, or other extended relatives, but maybe your parents didn't have a good model of what grandparents "should" do? Or maybe they have different views on child raising, and wouldn't be compatible with your methods? Or maybe they are just selfish... in which case, you should feel sorry for them, because they are missing out on the joy of loving your son the way they could. Good luck in finding a sitter you can trust and work with, who WILL love your son and WILL love spending time with him -- it IS possible! :) Mamabear
    By mamabear on July 21, 2008 18:36

  • Mamabear: You are totally right, I know. And (as always) it's helpful to reflect on what my frustrations reveal about me (rather than waiting for other people to change) -- my thinking could be more generous and understanding, my expectations are certainly only one way to look at things. I can't say that either one of my parents had super role models, wonderful as my grandparents were and are, they have their flaws. Like all of us, right?...
    By taggart on July 21, 2008 21:40

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